Top 3 David Carradine Characters

A lot of ideas spooled up and whipped past the front and center of my mind this past week whilst I was penning my tribute to lost actor David Carradine for my column on Mania.com (handy link). Unfortunately, many of them didn't fit the context of that article and could not be included. Luckily I've got the Midnight Cheese to catch those left over vitals, which I've chosen to sautée and serve to you in list form. On the third anniversary of his early exit, stage right, here are my top three favorite characters played by David Carradine. If you've already read this week's Shock-O-Rama, none of this will come as any great surprise (though the ordering arrangement most).

Frankenstein (Deathrace 2000 - 1975)

While I consider Deathrace 2000 the most influential of Carradine's films on me personally, the character he plays here is not my absolute favorite. What isn't to love through about a man who's supposed to have been rebuilt more than Darth Vader when really he's just the newest in a line of trained and costumed imitators? He's sort of like Elvis, if an impersonator secretly took his place each time he died. I want you to seek this film out and so I won't spoil too much here. Let me just say that Frank has the oddest hand grenade ever captured on film thus far.

The Blind Man (Circle of Iron - 1978)

This is only one of four roles played by Carradine in this cinematic instruction manual on eastern philosophy. The Blind Man is most certainly a huge inspiration for the title character of Tarantino's Kill Bill films. He plays a large bamboo flute, which doubles as an effective weapon; he speaks in the seer sing song of riddles and unknowable truthes; and he is much deadlier that he ever comes off in both appearance and conversation. I gave Circle of Iron it's own write up here. Check it out and then see the film.

Bill (Kill Bill Vol. 2 - 2004)

Being the collected embodiment of all of his cult characters who'd come before, there's no way it could be anyone else but Bill. Every monologue delivered is classic Carradine, here movement measured and ever frame showcases another of the hundred ways which he's just so fucking cool. The scene where he plays the flute while telling the bride a tale is one of my favorite committed to film.

So celebrate the legacy, watch an awesome flick and tell you friends about just how bitchin' rad David Caaradine was.

 

Mutant Chronicles: Modern B-Movie Archetype?

The world of cinema changed dramatically in the wake of the force of nature known as Roger Corman, that much is certain. He was the snowball which gathered flakes during his downhill charge, destined to smash convention as an unstoppable landslide of change. B-Movies underwent an irrevocable shift once major studios realized that they could couple the simple, campy plots from small budget pictures with gaudy, over sized budgets. Bruce Campbell argues in his first book, If Chins Could Kill (which you really should read!), that most of the major blockbusters of today are just gussied up B-Movies with money behind them. Independence Day. Transformers. The Happening. Give it a ponder.

This still contains more happenings than The Happening

Meanwhile back on Earth (more specifically on the Ikea couch in my basement, huddled under a handful of blankets with a cat keeping me company) I was winding down the last of my holiday vacation with gray matter relaxing Sunday morning fare on the Polish Syphilis SyFy SciFi channel. When what to my wandering eyes should appear, but something called Mutant Chronicles staring some guys named Thomas Jane and Ron Pearlman. I'll admit that I'm an enormous sucker for celluloid adventures which featuring Mr. Pearlman and Thomas Jane knocked it out of the park in the under appreciated 2004 Punisher adaption.

Mutant Chronicles is a fascinating venture in the digital filming style made famous by Robert Rodriguez with his adaption of Frank Miller's Sin City. Despite a smaller budget overall budget, the effects are exceptionally realized here, screaming that there was vision and style to spare. While the characters are somewhat flat, they manage to fill all of the standard tropes of a group of mercenaries while at the same time injecting just enough personality for there to be clashes within the group. Witty banter aplenty.

If you're unfamiliar with the pen and paper game on which the movie's based, don't worry! Any casual Internet search on the matter will punish you with the sweat and bile of self loathing Internet nerds, sperging over their keyboard the collected sum of all their disappointment that this film takes liberties with the cherished source material in the name of making an entertain romp. I suggest you treat them like all the women in their lives do: with pity and careful avoidance, one hand on the mace in their purse if proximity is considered 'Danger Close'.

Giant Maglights come as standard equipment in 2707

Mutant Chronicles (the film) paddles the stream of time to the year 2707, on an Earth where nearly all natural resources have been depleted and over which four mega corporations wage perpetual war. It is during one of these battles, which resemble a mix of world war one trench combat with steam powered ships, that a great seal is broken. This ancient symbol confined within it a vast machine, which crashed to Earth during the Ice Age. From the machine spring monstrously mutated men with a massive biological spikes for hands. These they use to maim and kill, then drag their conquests to the core of the machine, which in turn transforms these unlucky meat sacks into more killing engines.

Much as with zombies, each casualty replenishes the enemies ranks. Soon the rich and lucky are chartering every available craft to the safety of Mars, leaving billions to the meat grinder. Enter Brother Samuel (Pearlman), a holy man cut from the cloth of an ancient sect. He protect a books with the secret to stopping the horror threatening to engulf the entire planet. Samuel recruits a varied team of mercenaries to deliver a bomb into the heart of the machine, thus ending the doom-come-apocalypse. The action takes us down into the ancient underground ruins of our current world (upon which the world of 2707 is built), below which the fate of the planet is to be decided.

Mutant Chronicles: Helmet piercingly erect

This isn't an amazing film that will kick your ass six ways from Sunday with it's awesome-osity. When you get down to brass tacks though, it's an entertaining, modern day B movie, delivering up exactly what genre fans should have already come to expect from a monster/zombie-retro/future/steampunk-action/adventure flick. If you can't have fun chilling with this lazy Sunday afternoon affair then it's entirely possible that you take the Internez (and their related serious business) far to seriously. Relax and check out something off the wall. Perhaps Mutant Chronicles?

The Trailer Dump, Issue No. 10

Oh boy do I loves me some cheesy trailers. The menacing voice over, the focus on action, one liners, scares and nudity. It's a whole 80 minute bad movie with the 50 boring minutes having been stripped out, leaving us with a bombastically edited look at the remaining awesome bits, made from concentrate. Enjoy.

Deathsport - 1978

Leprechaun in Space - 1997

Demonic Toys - 1992

Undead - 2003

Late Night Double Feature Picture Shows

Ah the double feature, that wonderful staple of drive-ins and late night horror/scifi programming. Like many of the topics brought up here on the Midnight Cheese, double features are a lost art in many ways. Luckily the folks at Shout! Factory remember them and know how to put together a great DVD experience. On a whim, I snagged The Evil and Twice Dead together as a double feature, a part of the Roger Corman's Cult Classic series. I popped open a brew and greedily tore the cellophane armor from the case, then stretched out on the couch to enjoy a night of low budget horror.

Let's start there, with the cover: it sets the mood, depicting the brick wall of an 80's second run theater, with the one sheet posters plastered up very slap-dash. I don't know about you but for me the little things like this really make the over all experience that much more satisfying. Which is why when the menu loaded, I actually giggled a little. Where I was expecting a selection menu with just the titles of both films to select, I was instead treated with the visage of an old, neoned to the nines, movie house frontage. By selecting the ticket, a classic style "admit one" type ticket, you advance into the theatre. The lobby looks like exactly what you would expect to find in a place that would show a double billing of The Evil and Twice Dead. There's a snack bar on the left, by selecting that, you're given access to the scene selection menu. Similarly the rest room door on the right grants you access to the special features, not too much here beyond director commentaries and an interview with Jill Whitlow, who played Robin in Twice Dead. Interestingly she was also in Swamp Thing and Night of the Creeps, and she has some fascinating thoughts to share. The main attraction, though, is obviously the double doors at the center of the lobby. They lead into the theaters and kick off our double feature. However before we get our 'Cheese on, we're given the choice of just selecting one of the films or the "Roger Corman Experience". Sounds awesome, right? It totally is. By selecting it, both films play straight on through. But more than that, we're treated to a fully programed theater double feature experience. There are 70's bumpers announcing the upcoming attractions, several exploitation trailers, even a snack bar solicitation and there's more of them between the films.

Got your popcorn? Good. The show is underway. First up, we've got The Evil, which is the story of a doctor, Richard Crenna of Rambo fame, who purchase an enormous old mansion, which he plans to open as a drug rehabilitation clinic, with the help of his friends. So they set about cleaning up this long abandoned, built on cursed Native American land, monument to horror film set location. And wouldn't you know, before long one of our intrepid protagonists accidentally unleashes the titular evil. It's a little bit ghostly mansion, a couple parts demonic spirit with a few sprinkles of the eternal struggle between good and evil thrown in for good measure. It all works out in the end, if you believe in the standard 80% attrition rate, which I do. This is a pretty interesting movie, nothing special. It's exactly what you'd expect from double feature fodder.

After some more trailers and an enticement to procure more noshables from the united snack bar of your kitchen, our second feature kicks in. Twice Dead is the tale of an east coast family who inherits a mansion in L.A. Formerly the mansion belonged to a famous Hollywood actor, who lost his love and hung himself. Unfortunately it's now the haunt of a stereotypical late 80's, early 90's gang of punks. They resent being ejected from their hang out and begin a campaign of harassment against the family kids. There's a few problems here, but mostly the issue is that Twice Dead is schizophrenic; it doesn't know if it's a ghost story or if it's a gang revenge tale. It's both, kind of. It's also very made for TVish, very Saturday afternoon matinee. It isn't as strong as The Evil but it's also a taste of nostalgia for me, recalling USA Up All Night, which needs to come back (damnit).

It's obvious that Shout! Factory put some honest effort into the presentation here and if, like me, you pine for the schlock of yesteryear, check out this double feature DVD.

Just a drop In Roger Corman's bucket

Midnight Cheese continues its salute to this week's birthday boy Roger Corman with a look at his 1959 social satire/fright flick A Bucket of Blood. Starring B-Movie badass Dick Miller, A Bucket of Blood is the twisted tale of Walter Paisley, busboy at the boho chic coffee house The Yellow Door. Square Walter yearns to be an artist like the beatnik poets and sculptors he serves every night. Unfortunately for Walter, he possesses no artistic skills and is mocked by the coffee house clientele on a nightly basis.

One night while trying to sculpt in vain, Walter accidentally kills his landlady's pet. Too upset with himself, Walter decides to hide the pet's body by covering it in clay. While doing so, Walter realizes that may be creating art. When he displays the corpse/statue at the coffee house the following evening,Walter's work is met with praise. Critics crown him the king of cool and demand to see more of his work. Walter decides to oblige them with my creations via the only muse he knows - murder.

Made at a time when the burgeoning beatnik scene was laying the foundation of the hippie counterculture of the sixties, Corman and screenwriter Charles B. Griffith spare no expense at skewering pretentious pop art posers and beatnik bozos. Artists who once branded Walter a tool of the establishment, begin to to heap praise upon him when they realize they can benefit from clinging to his coattails. Characters that discover the secret to Walter's "art" decide to turn a blind eye to his misdeeds once they realize they can profit from them. Add in poorly-written poems, drugged-out intellectuals and some really bad art and you've got a nifty little knock at Eisenhower-era hipsters.

In addition to satire, the Corman/Griffith team and their company of players deliver the chills, too. Walter's artwork is especially creepy and several of the murder set pieces are eerie. Miller is especially fine as Walter. During the first act of the movie, Miller wrings every drop of sympathy from the audience. We root for the mistreated busboy and are genuinely frightened for him when he commits his first accidental murder. By the end of the movie we loath Walter. Miller transforms him into a madman as well as a hipster consumed with being the art scene darling. Although Miller's acting resume is enormous, Walter Paisley is the actor's signature role. Miller and this character are so beloved by cult movie director Joe Dante that he's cast Miller in several movies as unrelated characters named Walter Paisley.

A Bucket of Blood is worth checking out if you haven't seen it. It's also a worthy addition to any B-Movie lovers DVD collection. You can still get the MGM distributed DVD from Amazon and other online retailers. It features the original trailer and a nice transfer. There are also a few public domain DVDs floating around but their quality is crap. A Bucket of Blood is also available from Netflix instant watch.