HOWARD THE WHAT?!?

HOWARD THE DUCK

Directed by: Willard Huyck

Written by: Willard Huyck and Gloria Katz

Staring: Lea Thompson, Tim Robbins, Terry Jones, Chip Zien

1986

Before Iron Man changed comic book movies, before Marvel Studios existed, and before the synergistic acquisition of Marvel by Disney, there was a comic-to-film adaptation that changed the world. It defied the odds, logic, and was fostered into existence by George “Star Wars” Lucas himself.

Yes. I’m talking about Howard the Duck. A motion picture that would forever change how we perceive the world. Rosebud, shmose-bud. Howard had arrived to quack-fu kick us into the next millennium of filmmaking.

Okay, so maybe I went a little overboard with the hyperbole on that one. How else can I sell this spectacle past the title, though? Let’s start with a little bit of history.

Howard the Duck is a Marvel Comics character, created in 1973 by Steve Gerber and artist Val Mayerik. He is large anthropomorphic duck prone to cigars, tiny fedoras, and fits of rage (what’s the deal with duck characters having anger management issues). He’s trapped on our world doing nothing extraordinary other than living and surviving. In the early days, Howard’s adventures tended to fall into the vein of horror parodies (which is a concept that informed the subsequent, hardly family-friendly, movie). Later, Gerber brought forward the tone of Howard the Duck being a more existential book, noting wonderfully that, “life's most serious moments and most incredibly dumb moments are often distinguishable only by a momentary point of view.” Gerber brought a meta-textual and inquisitive nature to the book. This tone, however, was violently dismissed from the movie adaptation.

So, here you have an antihero who fights monsters and lines at the DMV with equal vigor and indignation. How do you inform that into a single movie narrative? Well, it’s arguable if writers Willard Huyck and Gloria Katz did with any kind of success. However, what transpired is a hidden gem of Hollywood cheesiness.

The movie was a favorite in my childhood and has maintained said status in adulthood, but for different reasons. When I was a five-year-old sitting in the cinema on opening weekend, I was just enamored with the high level plot. It’s a duck-man who fights giant monsters and plays the guitar. As I got older, the utter perverse nature of much of the plot was almost a revelation. This movie is not for kids featuring heavy innuendos, duck boobies, proportional condoms, and the implication of anthropomorphic bestiality (wait, is it bestiality if the animal-party can consent… anyway). Let’s dive in.

Howard is plucked from his living room, through the cosmos, and into our world due to the meddling of pesky scientists on earth. He’s dropped in the middle of Whatever-city America where he quickly befriends a down on her luck musician by the name of Beverly (Lea Thompson). Beverly is pretty open to Howard being an alien and is immediately flirtatious. Different strokes, right? She brings Howard to Phil (Academy Award winner, Tim Robbins in a tour de force performance) who is a junior scientist working at the local museum. He is the only person Bev can think to take Howard for answers. Hilarity, hijinks, and human-duck relations ensue until the plot kicks into high gear in act two.

You see, those pesky scientists from before think they might have opened a portal for other, much more threatening, beings from other dimensions to break through to our world. With Howard’s help (I’m not sure how), they can hopefully close this gap and send him back to his home. Things don’t go swimmingly and before we know it, Howard and the gang are forced to battle the Dark Overlord of Planet X (no shit).

Originally conceived as an animated movie, Lucas’ involvement precipitated the use of Industrial Light and Magic’s skills to create a live-action Howard. Like the Godzilla days of old, Howard is a man in a suit with an animatronic mouth, eyes and, expressions. Sometimes it’s a wonderful effect and sometimes it’s just not. Howard’s proportions often fluctuate. Depending on the suit’s limitations per scene, it can take you out of the film at times. But where ILM had inconsistent success with Howard, they delivered tenfold with the reveal of the movie’s big bad at the end. To this day, this is some of the most fluid and immersive stop-motion animation in a live-action film I have ever seen. The articulation is nearly flawless and genuinely frightening.

Tonally, Howard the Duck is all over the map, which almost strengthens the overall experience. Both broad and very specific, sometimes in the same scene, it can be difficult to follow. I’m not entirely sure who the intended audience for this movie was because they commit to neither fully. However, having seen the movie at two different times in my life, I’m of two minds about it. There were many things that flew over my head when I was younger. There are also cringe worthy moments that used to illicit cheering. Make of it what you will, but Howard the Duck’s greatest weakness may in fact be its saving grace.

A few years ago, Lucasfilm and Universal finally released Howard the Duck on DVD with a new transfer, documentaries, and interviews (which are sadly without Tim Robbins involvement). Of course, the creative blame marketing and studio confusion on the film’s eventual financial failure. Is it me, or has this been the go to complaint of cult films’ success (or lack their of)? “The studio just didn’t know what to do with us.” I’m sure it’s true in some instances, but not every time. Sometimes a movie just doesn’t hit the mark. Own it, man.

It’s not currently on Netflix streaming, but it’s not hard to find. I highly recommend checking this cheesy gem out. This movie really is something special. It’s a grand critical and financial failure as well as a stunning achievement in tone and special effects. Love it or hate it, you have to try it to find out.

If it were a safe bet, these types of pleasures wouldn’t make you feel very guilty. Where’s the fun in that? 

What is the 'Cheese? How do you define the 'Cheese?

What the heck is the Midnight Cheese all about? It's a poignant question for anyone to bring up and it might surprise you to learn that even I am sometimes at a loss to provide a satisfying answer. Simple in scope, the Midnight Cheese is my attempt to spotlight the kinds of films many people haven't heard of or perhaps haven't paid attention to. More than that it's a prismatic sphere, taking into itself all of the different media I've digested over the years (including the manner of ingestion) and projects out a rudimentary recalling of the experience. The point, dear reader, is a catfish hiding in muddy waters. With the 'Cheese's recent reanimation, I thought it might be interesting to brainstorm out exactly what the Midnight Cheese is supposed to be. Ride shotgun with me and let's see where this leads.

The Midnight Cheese is USA Up All Night; Gilbert Gottfried and a bowl of popcorn. The lights are out and I'm half hidden under a blanket. Anyone who could run to my aid in the case that the budget horrors depicted on the small screen came alive was fast asleep. I could never quite stay up all night, fading to slumber somewhere along the seven hours which this programming would keep night owls close company. My viewership began before I could even comprehend their edited safe for TV sexploitation films and ran well into my high school years. The films didn't matter. In point of fact this is likely the largest contributing factor to my future love affair with what norms consider "bad movies". I owe USA Up All Night more than one hug could ever convey to an unsuspecting Gilbert Gottfried.

The Midnight Cheese is seeing a 35mm film among a crowd. It's the imperfections inherent in watching a 35 year old 35mm print; The snaps; the crackles; the pops. Knowing that as I behold light blasted across celluloid at 24 frames per second that it's source is forever changed, however minusculely. There's an exchange taking places as it looses some of it's once illustrious luster to effect me and as part of our viewing leaves it's mark in return on the reel. To be shipped across country with nefarious plans it will impact even more malleable minds during it's lifespan. The communal laughter. The quiet agreement during the most terrible moments, that we've all steeled ourselves against, but are still secretly horrified of is all part of the enjoy and the spectacle.

The Midnight Cheese is The Sunday mornings with only the post cartoon-block shenanigans of The Three Stooges to usher us into an afternoon of Godzilla and Rodan. These two and more were our first cultural ambassadors, fascinating us with our own shame reflected back in movie form and enjoyed by those far too young to realize such a thing was amiss. Later, pulp of the silver screen would manifest itself in new clothing as Hercules the Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess and The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. The campy and corny and exactly what I'd expect out of a rainy Sunday morning.

The Midnight Cheese is staying up well past bed time. In youth it was to catch a glimpse of that which was forbidden. At present it's to put off the responsibilities of adultdom just another hour- to take in one more movie. It's seeing the latest horror release at midnight on a Thursday, with work to contend with at the crack of dawn.

The Midnight Cheese is Exhumed Films' Horrorthon, willing the mind to stay awake, refusing to submit to the slowness of 4:30am. It's the communal joy of First Friday Fright Nights at the Colonial theatre, resplendent in it's 108 year old dressings. It's the ridiculousness of tiger man. It's the fun of Cult Cinema shows. It's laughing at The rediculousness of Black Angles, it's groaning in horror at Teenage Mother.

It's enjoyment of the simple. It's giving a pass to the flaws. It's laughter with friends.

It's corny and it's cheesy and it's me laid bare. Certainly, we've got something in common.

Welcome to midnight.

 

eX-Fest II: Chatting with Jesse Nelson

There's an incompletion located somewhere within you. A sacrosanct sector which hasn't gotten sufficient nutritional intake. It's not your fault that the past decades haven't been kind to your ability to take in exploitation cinema with a raucous audience full of the deviant that you hide inside. Exhumed Films has your ticket though, hosting an annual exploitation marathon dubbed eX-Fest, which boasts a smorgasbord of flavors. With eX-Fest II just six days away, I asked Jesse Nelson (member of Exhumed Films and co-proprietor of Diabolik DVD) a bunch of questions which I've wanted to know the answers to.

Q: How did you get involved with Exhumed Films in the first place?

We met the guys that run GRINDHOUSE RELEASING while at Fantasia in
Montreal and decided that it would be fun to rent a few movies from
them, find a local theatre and have a halloween double feature. We
all threw in some money and resigned ourselves to the fact we might
lose it, but at least we would have a good time watching the movies.
To our surprise, people showed up and we decided to put the profits
back into a collective pool and start planning more shows. Back then
it was mostly word of mouth and handing out flyers - the internet was
a very small portion of what it is now.

Q: Since you guys primarily run horror, where did eX-Fest come from?

After the success of the 24hr fest, we decided we needed another big
show midway between the horror-thons, so we came up with a theme of 12
hours and movies we normally wouldn't show at the 24hr fest. Mainly
we wanted to watch a bunch of sleazy, non-horror movies with an
audience and we figured an "event" would bring people in and luckily
it did.

Q: What's been you absolute favorite show that Exhumed has run?

Easily Bruce Campbell at the Harwan. He was in town for a
Hercules/Xena convention and we managed to get ahold of him for a
screening of Evil Dead 2 at Midnight. He not only introduced the
movie, but did a Q&A and refused to leave until he signed something
for everyone. I think we managed to wrap it up around 5am. PLUS, he
gave us a low ball figure for the night and refused to take a penny
more. Very classy, funny and all around the most pleasant celebrity
experience despite the late night and that the AC had broken earlier
that day.


Q: How about favorite film? (that Exhumed has screened)

I love so many of the films we show, its hard to pick one out. Its
fun to show oddball things like PIECES and FAREWELL UNCLE TOM with a
crowd, but I think that THE THING is the film that I never tire of
watching with an audience.

Q: What's the film you'd most like to show but can not? (why not?)
Collectively it was DAWN OF THE DEAD, but we finally worked out that
rights issue last year. Aside from that there are some other things
that we have never been able to track down for one reason or another
such as HALLOWEEN 3 for example, but the thing I have wanted to show
from the beginning is Fulci's CONQUEST which doesn't seem to exist on
film any longer in any format.

Q: I've really enjoyed the smaller venue'd, 16mm shows at the Audubon
auction house from this past year. Where did that idea come from? (and
will there be more of them?)

The Auction house has a pretty tight weekend schedule, which is great
for them, but not great for us trying to schedule shows. We will have
more in the coming year for sure though. They actually contacted us
and wanted us to have a pop up theatre in there. They already had the
PA and the screen so all we had to do was provide the films and the
projectors - which is the great thing about 16mm.


Q: Since 1997, you guys have been housed in a number of
venues. Which do you feel was the coolest, which has the best vibe for
exhumed and which do you miss the most?

The Harwan was my favorite... It was a total dump and provided the
best vibe. You could smoke in the upstairs lounge!!! But the Hoyts
in Pennsauken was the best for us business wise. They didn't care
what we did, what we showed and how long we were there. It wasn't the
best vibe, but it had the best projection, sound and those amazing
seats! It would be great to have the 24hr fest there. To this day I
don't think the manager told corporate what he was doing and put that
money in his pocket for the rental - but that was fine by us.


Q: Who decided to end last year's eX-Fest with The Other Cinderella.
(fucking spectacular, btw)

I wanted to end this year's with a full on hardcore movie, but the
other guys were against it and I guess I was to some extent as well,
but damn it would have been fun! Harry is the exploitation guru in
the group and I don't even argue with the films he comes up with. If
he wants to show it, I want to see it!


Q: What's the most rewarding part of Exhumed for you?

Aside from the movies, which do become a bit tedious from time to time
(Evil Dead 2 again???) I really love meeting everyone and chatting
about movies and hearing the responses - which aren't always positive.
I feel like we have created a great horror community with Exhumed and
DiabolikDVD in the Philadelphia area and I love being involved with
that.

I'd like to thank Jesse for taking the time to answer my questions (and for always taking all my dollars at at the Diabolik DVD table each show!).

Check out my recap of last year's eX-Fest and then snag your tickets for this Sunday's event right here (precious few remain as of this writing). Then prepare yourself for twelve hours of mysterious mind blowing fare from all across the exploitation venue. If you waffle now, you'll be cursing yourself while you read my recap of the awesome flicks on display.

 

Horror and the Theatre Going Experience

In what manner would you say you consume the vast majority of your horror diet? Is it alone in your domicile? Strune across a well worn couch, shrouded in an assortment of blankets, do you watch Christopher Lee drain the blood of hapless villagers with one hand in a buttery bowl of popcorn and the other resting on or near your lady or man bits? (Do you sometimes forget which hand goes where, ending your night with a buttery gender batch?)

Hot stuff coming through!

The dynamics of how viewers of all genres watch films have dramatically shifted in the past decade and sadly look to be taking a horrific turn away from 35mm print in the very near future. While this is going to be happening across the whole of the cinema landscape, it's going to impact horror film aficionados most of all. But why is that? To answer myself, let's swing back around to the first paragraph and ask (in seriousness this time) how the majority of horror fans consume their preferred media.

Two answer we must first consider that there's two types of media consumption when it pertains to film: in home and theatre. They're both very important and our rituals around them have become culturally engrained milestones that we pass on to younger generations like the tribal stories of old. Let's look at them separately.

In Home Viewing
This is likely where the majority of folks' watch horror flicks. We've come a very long way in three decades from the macabre humor of aging late night horror hosts to the tape trading and dubbing of the pre-internet days - most horror titles are now directly streaming to the mercilessly commanding fingers of the nerds who covet them. It's not an enormous logical leap to assume that 70-80% of our horror film viewing is done in the home. As to how and when you watch them (your rituals) perhaps it's a sign post along the road to my "getting older" realization, but I typically watch later in the evening (I grew up on a USA Up All Night diet of Gilbert Gottfried and bad horror films). With your options ever exploding, it seems that this method of viewing is safe and sound, continuing to become easier to accomplish as time passes.

Theatre Viewing
A dark room full of strangers emitting ooos and aaaahs in time with the cinematic unravelings, it's likely a time traveller from the past would brand us all witches to be burned at the stake if he came upon this odd scene (which is fine because we've learned through countless 60's and 70's films that witches have the hottest orgies).

This film viewing experience proportionally makes for a smaller percentage among most horror fans but it is a vastly more important part of the monster scene. These films were meant to be viewed in a certain way, on a certain medium and with a certain crowd (one not consisting of your cats and boyfriend). However, the sad fact is that many a horror geek has shunned the theatre going experience and subsides wholly on in-home viewing fare. It's understandable given the state of the multiplex viewing experience- unwashed masses who can't be bothered to shut their gaping talky holes and aren't capable of fathoming a world where they don't check their text messages and Words with Friends notifications for 89 minutes.

You have a choice and it’s important to make before it’s too late. Tap into the internetz, with its tubes and lolcats, and FIND repertoire shows in your area. Where ever there are passionate fans, there you'll likely also find screenings. Don't JUST go to screenings of Evil Dead 2 or The Exorcist. Trust that these passionate show runners have your best horror interests at heart and are likely showing you something rare, unique and awesome.

The Colonial Theatre: a movie palace of cinematic delight!

Listen, I'll level with you: it's entirely possible that your chances to see horror flicks in 35mm are dwindling down to nill. The major studios are quickly forcing digital projection on all theatres and will thereafter not be renting out their archival film prints to classic movie houses. When it’s gone, an era will have passed and the only songs to be sung of it will be lamentations.

So what’s the answer? Why is this shift going to affect horror fans more than those of other genres? It has to do with the nature of the genre itself: Fear. The herd mentality as a survival mechanism is at the very root of our fight or flight mechanism- which is the very reason you should be watching horror films in a dark theatre with your peers. In a way, they cause you to become closer to those around you. The shared experiences build a community- as cheesy as it may sound. One of the things I look forward to in hosting horror shows is seeing the familiar faces. You’re watching a 35mm print- which is being changed just by the act of viewing it. Very fitting that you’re changing it since it’s very likely to effect a change in you too.