The Dreaded Horror Blindspot: Captain Kronos- Vampire Hunter

When mapping out my treasure hunt into Hammer's chest of riches (see part 1 and part 2 of this series), nothing could have prepared me for the sheer blinding awesome that is 1974's Captain Kronos- Vampire Hunter. A quick and dirty glance over appropriate IMDB'age reveals that this is apparently the film that was Hammer Horror's iceberg; it's failure to resonate with audiences began the slow death of this storied production company. Having digested all Kronos has to offer, I can't even contemplate how this is possible.

Captain Kronos the man is a hardcore former soldier who's devoted his life to discovering vampire scourges and combating them at every turn. A master swordsman, he's a fantastic physical specimen; honed to both physical and mental edged perfection. He's a face melting metal bad ass traveling about the 1700's European country side, routing riotous villagers and bedding beautiful buxom Caroline Monroe.

He's accompanied by a faithful hunchbacked companion, who refuses to conform to normal cinematic stereotypes. Professor Hieronymus Grost is an arcane lore master of all things vampiric, musing at one point that "there are as many species of vampire as there are beasts of prey". He's a charming and charismatic personality, a master blacksmith, a stalwart companion and a great character. I absolutely loved every scene he's in, most especially the "chess scene" between him and Dr. Marcus.

It's evident from the outset that Hammer was attempting a reinvention of both vampire folklore and also themselves. Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter was designed to be a the first of a long running series staring rugged pre-Viggo Mortenson Horst Janson. He's contacted by an old war buddy, Dr.Marcus, to investigate the strange cases of young girls who are being found rapidly progressed to chronologically challenged hag status. Along the way Kronos frees a young, buxom Caroline Monroe from roadside stocks and invites her along to sexy ends. There's such a marvelous mystery presented within, that I've already said enough and will leave the baton at your feet to run with.

Sadly the film did very poorly at theaters (perhaps American audiences were worn out on Hammer by this point?) and so nothing ever came beyond this one film. Thinking back on it now in the rear view, Captain Kronos -Vampire Hunter was a decades forward thinking flick. The scientific method meets folk legend approach to reasoning out vampiric haunts and weaknesses heavily feels like best parts Hellboy and the logical explanation and methodical implementation of weapons and gadgets (all period appropriate) shows shades of these same aspects as presented in Batman Begins.

Captain Kronos- Vampire Hunter is a swashbuckling, euro-gothic, manly-fisticuffs good time. It was sadly passed over and almost forgotten but now you can check it out on Netflix streaming. Try on something new, something sheer, something that might not be your size but might feel so nice next to your skin.

 

 

The Trailer Dump, Issue no.13

Here we find ourselves once again: me with the trailers, you with the wanting of the trailers. Have them, indulging in all their fresh squeezed delights.

Black Sunday (1960)

Bloody Pit of Horror (1965)

 

Interlude

 

Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter (1974)

 

 

The Dreaded Horror Blindspot: Part II

We've all got one: a segment of our nerdly obsessions which isn't quite as thoroughly clued in as might be expected. As I discussed in part one of this series (which I suggest reading before continuing) the truth of this disability is willfully and purposefully hidden from our contemporaries. I will not lower my head in that similar shame. My area of genre emptiness is Hammer Horror and I've set about filling in my knowledge like a veracious hair club for men candidate. Though I am admittedly on a much slower path to recovery, it can't be said that I'm motionless. So I tucked up to the table, draped the cloth to my neckline, and dove in mouth first.

Today's menu begins, centers and ends on 1970's Peter Cushing-less Horrors of Frankenstein. Instead Ralph Bates steps into the familiar digs of Victor Frankenstein. Bates was also in Taste the Blood of Dracula , another Hammer Horror film released that same month staring Christopher Lee, but might be best remembered as Dr.Jekyll in Dr.Jekyll & Sister Hyde (which I'm working on tracking down a copy of). What's fascinating about this specific retelling of the Mary Shelley story is what Bates brings to the table. In one instance he's friendly, amiable and charming. Split seconds tick off the clock and in that small sequence of time, he's now conniving, cold blooded and ruthless. Absent from the proceedings is the misunderstood, driven genius that we're so commonly presented with in the innumerable spinnings of the Frankenstein yarn.

The rest of the films' trappings can be found among those commonly attributed to period Hammer: lavish recycled gothic sets, lovely busted beauties bearing some flesh (though not as much as is customary) and a fantastically epic-esk score. Topping off the tank are a lovely scheming house keeper, a charming best friend to Victor, a fun grave robbing husband-wife pair and David "Darth Vader" Prowse- the latter looking burly and scarred as "The Monster".

Prepare for a bold proclamation. Horrors of Frankenstein has become my favorite film version of the classic Mary Shelley legend. There is just so much going on behind the calculating eyes of a young Victor Frankenstein, who will not be stopped in his goal of bringing about new life. The lies he connives are brilliant, the line between his ruthlessness and his charm so razor thin and his manipulation is so very subtle. The bottom line here is that you need to see this underrated monster movie. This might not be an easy task as it seems to only be available as an out of print DVD released in 2001 but if you've got a region free player, the Hammer collection is always available to you.

Next on my Blindspot list is Vampire Circus, which (as luck and fate have procreated in my favor), is playing in 35mm as part of the Colonial Theatre's First Friday Fright Night series on May 4th. See you at the midnight movies.

 

 

The Trailer Dump, Issue No.11

Today's taste of trailer torture comes courtesy of Hammer Films. As you might recalled, I'm exploring my Hammer Horror Blind Spot.  As with ,any contemporary trailers, the voice over work is powerful and inspires dread, even if the outlandish claims may not hold true for audiences of today.

Enjoy my friendly fiends.

The Horror of Frankenstein

The Scars of Dracula

The Werewolf vs. The Vampire Women

The Dreaded Horror Blindspot

Do you have a horror blind spot? Is there a specific subgenre from which you remain blissfully ignorant? Perhaps there’s an auteur director who’s first film you hated and you’ve subsequently steered clear of her works. Maybe you’re among the younger set, an ever changing demographic, and have never had the chance to experience something special. I think it’s not unreasonable to postulate that most horror nerds have a blind spot of one sort or another (except for Nick Lombardo, perhaps), though most of them are ashamed to admit it.

Should there be shame attached to this omission in horror film experience though? I say no, so long as once a deficiency is recognized, the nerd in question makes efforts to illuminate themselves of this darkest cinema genre. Take this as a blessing in disguise, not a scarlet letter. Who among us wouldn’t give their collection of severed heads to experience a genre classic newly, for the first time? You can’t go home again, but in this case you can visit a place you’ve never even vacationed (or possibly seen postcards of) before.

I have a horror genre blind spot. It isn’t a minor blemish such has having never seen Uwe Boll’s House of the Dead (I have). No, this spot is glaring, obvious and marginally painful to think about. I’m going to pen a series of articles regaling you with my adventures in casting light into this hole. What is my horror blind spot? (Don’t cringe) It’s the Hammer Horror Films catalogue.

I know. I KNOW. It isn’t as though I’ve never seen any Hammer Horror films. I certainly have. However it’s been years, so many that I’ve got a foggy cloud in my head where those recollections should be. I know that I’m missing out. It’s with that in mind that I’ve borrowed a smattering of Hammer titles from Joel of the eminent podcast - You’ve Got Geek. From his guiding hand, I’ll be experiencing the joys of these gothic marvels for the first time.



Last evening, I began my journey with the 1970 favorite Scars of Dracula. Marking the fourth time that YEAR which Christopher Lee would portray the prince of darkness, Scars of Dracula features enormous atmosphere and styling, as it seems all Hammer period films seem to overflow with. Our tale it's fairly straightforward: Angry villagers, having grown weary of their pretty virginal girls being sucked dry by the Count, attack his castle with pitchforks and torches. They burn the inner workings of castle Dracula through and through, though this means nothing as in a brilliant stroke of forethought the Count's chamber is stone on all sides, built into a cliff face and only accessible via a window above a titanic drop to rocks and sea below.

So, aside from blowing their torch and gunpowder load, the villagers accomplish nothing aside from sparking the anger of one very powerful prince of darkness. Lee exacts his furious vengeance on the womenfolk of sleepy village, driving the men to drink (more than normal) and causing them to be completely standoffish to all travelers. Of course we're then introduced to a young womanizing playboy, who pisses off the daughter of the local town judge and is falsely accused of rape. On the run from the law, our fun loving pal is kicked out of the village inn and having no recourse, he spends the night at Castle Dracula. It's all excellently creepy and done in elaborate style.



Lee is wonderful in the role which he had already become famous for and over which he had already grown quite weary. The gore was ratcheted up above what were normal Hammer standards, in order to compete with American films that brought more bloody messes to the table in the wake of Romero's Night of the Living Dead. The vivid colors pay off and contribute to a sort of faux gore style that's simultaneous gruesome and fancifully stylish. The lovely ladies showcased in the buff are delightful to look upon and contribute, in their own special way, to enlarging the plot's thickness. (*drumroll*).

The Scars of Dracula is a fantastic take on the Dracula mythos, a marvelous period piece and very well made. The Pal region DVD I watched looked great (for DVD with upscaling) though I would very much love to see a high fidelity Blu-Ray version, since the colors would render even more vividly. This was a great first choice to slip into something more comfortable of yesterday. Stay tuned as I continue to illuminate my own personal horror blind spot. Use the comments to tell me what your particular short coming might be.