Showing posts with label evil clown. Show all posts
Showing posts with label evil clown. Show all posts

Friday, November 11, 2011

The Trailer Dump, Issue No. 10

Oh boy do I loves me some cheesy trailers. The menacing voice over, the focus on action, one liners, scares and nudity. It's a whole 80 minute bad movie with the 50 boring minutes having been stripped out, leaving us with a bombastically edited look at the remaining awesome bits, made from concentrate. Enjoy.

Deathsport - 1978

Leprechaun in Space - 1997

Demonic Toys - 1992

Undead - 2003

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The 31 Days of Halloween: Day 18

Halloween is the best time of the year. It's a wonderfully indulgent time, where your inner ghoul is given societal license to be put on display. To celebrate it to it's wicked fullest, the Midnight Cheese will be posting every day in October with excellent ways to enjoy the season. Whether it's horror films, video games, books or activities, check back every day for some new Halloween fun.

Left 4 Dead 2

It's not often that a horror video game can keep up with it's players. Very often we gamers interact with these virtual realities in different, unpredictable ways. The development teams can't compensate for this and thus an uneven experience in terror is digested with dissatisfaction (and perhaps a Pepcid AC). That mold is broken (and kicked around for good measure) by Left 4 Dead 2 and it's predecessor, Left 4 Dead. And while the first game is also excellent, we're going to focus on the second one today as it triumphantly builds upon what worked well in the first and adds several critical features (such as a full compliment of melee weapon options).

Each level has it's own stylized B-horror poster like this.


Left 4 Dead 2 is a zombie first person shooter. You select one of four survivors to control, ideally teaming up with three competent friends with which to ward off the teeming masses of flesh hungry monsters. If you have no friends, the game does a commendable job of controlling the other three characters in a "playing with your friends-esk manner". Though you really should play with your friends, it's better than playing with yourself on your own. The cooperative component is built into the foundation of the gameplay. If you get knocked down by some of the special infected, only a teammate can help you back up, though in some situations you can continue shooting your pistol as you bleed to death (very heroic).

Children of the rotting corn.


Here's what sets this game far above and beyond others: The Director. The director is the name given to the procedurally generated zombies. What the hell does that mean? This means that unlike nearly all video games with preplaced enemies, in this game the infected are placed randomly around the world. There are also junctions which you'll come to, where the level has been altered from the last time you played FORCING you down an unfamiliar path. If all of this was not enough, the Director is constantly measuring the progress of you and your companions. If it decides you are having too easy of a time slaughtering it's killer denizens, it increases the instances of them and may send difficult to kill, powerful special infected zombies at you. There are subtle musical clues which accompany these events, including "crescendo events" -where you're about to be overwhelmed by dozens to hundreds of the rotting meatbags.

The game world itself comes alive with little details. These shine through in helping to create a world of despair, where hope is almost irrelevant. You receive just enough sustenance (ammo, medical supplies, etc) to make seem as though you might just make it. The safe room, momentarily protected respites between levels, offer a canvas for the mythology of this outbreak to germinate in your imagination.

It's the kind of playground that any self respecting horror fan would love to find themselves in. I can't recommend it to you enough. Just writing about it is making we want to go play it again. If it any flaw it's that it cares about killing me too much.

Lock and Load.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The 31 Days of Halloween: Day 11

Halloween is the best time of the year. It's a wonderfully indulgent time, where your inner ghoul is given societal license to be put on display. To celebrate it to it's wicked fullest, the Midnight Cheese will be posting every day in October with excellent ways to enjoy the season. Whether it's horror films, video games, books or activities, check back every day for some new Halloween fun.

Poltergeist

Ghosts. Vengeful spirits left behind to wreak havoc. How do they always know that clown dolls are way more terrifying than floating sheets with eye holes? Is there perhaps some guide book they all receive upon graduation from spooky spirit school? "Here's your diploma from Spooky U. Oh! Don't forget to enter through the children's bedroom closet and possess a clown doll if at all possible. They fucking HATE that." This wouldn't surprise me in the least. What else do the dead have to do with their time anyway?



If they're squarely located in the same realm as the film Poltergeist then it seems they have quite a few cool tricks up their inanimate ghostly sleeves. One of them isn't as useful as it was when the film first came out though; with the advent of 24 hour a day television, I can't remember the last time a ghost tried to screw with me via the static left behind when a channel would sign off for the night. I'll admit, as a child, waking up to the static of a TV left on was terrifying. Thanks Poltergeist.

Children's closets are still ridiculously dangerous. Beyond the Sponge Bob stuff and all the other stupid crap that kids get now, the barrier to Hell is thin and easily traipsed in these locations. Kids know this but we never believe them. Go lock one in their closet and see. I'll wait, go on....They screamed their head off to be let out, didn't they? It's because they know that a gateway to the darkside is in there. Kids aren't stupid (yes they are, just not in this example).

Perhaps the biggest impact Poltergeist has had is on the real estate market. Before the film, you had a scientifically proven one in thirteen chance of purchasing a new development home which was actually located on top of a former graveyard. Now that ratio reads one in three hundred thousand. Do you know why that is? Three words: Craig T. Nelson. That's right, no developer would dare invoke the wrath of the former Coach star and thus find plots of land to build on which weren't previously the haunts of the dead.

What I'm getting at is this: watch Poltergeist. It could very well save your life. (And Craig T. Nelson was the bomb in Phantoms yo)