The Trailer Dump, Issue no. 7

The Ice Pirates

• What a cast! John Carradine, Ron Pearlman, Angelica Huston and Robert Ulrich!
• The wide shots of the domed city is actually footage from Logan's Run.
• The sport the pirates watch over their lunch is footage from Rollerball.
• This is only Ron Pearlman's second film after A Quest for Fire.
• When I first subscribed to Netflix streaming, this is the first film I watched.

Galaxina

• Actress Dorothy Stratton, who played the titular (har har) Galaxina, was Playboy's Playmate of the year, 1980. Sadly, she was killed by her jealous husband in a murder/suicide. She was only 20.
• Laser sound effects were lifted right out of the original Battlestar Galactica tv show and shipboard door effects taken right from Star Trek.
• Received a Blu Ray release this past March as a double feature with Crater Lake Monster.

Ator, The Fighting Eagle

• This film contains a lot of O'Keeffe. How much O'Keeffe? Miles O'Keeffe. (sorry, couldn't help it)
• This is the first in a series of 4 films featuring Ator by occult director Joe D'Amato.
• The second film in the series was spoofed on Mystery Science Theater 3000 under it's American title, Cave Dwellers.

Until next time, here's hoping you spend Saturday night at the movies, who cares what you go and see.

Late Night Double Feature Picture Shows

Ah the double feature, that wonderful staple of drive-ins and late night horror/scifi programming. Like many of the topics brought up here on the Midnight Cheese, double features are a lost art in many ways. Luckily the folks at Shout! Factory remember them and know how to put together a great DVD experience. On a whim, I snagged The Evil and Twice Dead together as a double feature, a part of the Roger Corman's Cult Classic series. I popped open a brew and greedily tore the cellophane armor from the case, then stretched out on the couch to enjoy a night of low budget horror.

Let's start there, with the cover: it sets the mood, depicting the brick wall of an 80's second run theater, with the one sheet posters plastered up very slap-dash. I don't know about you but for me the little things like this really make the over all experience that much more satisfying. Which is why when the menu loaded, I actually giggled a little. Where I was expecting a selection menu with just the titles of both films to select, I was instead treated with the visage of an old, neoned to the nines, movie house frontage. By selecting the ticket, a classic style "admit one" type ticket, you advance into the theatre. The lobby looks like exactly what you would expect to find in a place that would show a double billing of The Evil and Twice Dead. There's a snack bar on the left, by selecting that, you're given access to the scene selection menu. Similarly the rest room door on the right grants you access to the special features, not too much here beyond director commentaries and an interview with Jill Whitlow, who played Robin in Twice Dead. Interestingly she was also in Swamp Thing and Night of the Creeps, and she has some fascinating thoughts to share. The main attraction, though, is obviously the double doors at the center of the lobby. They lead into the theaters and kick off our double feature. However before we get our 'Cheese on, we're given the choice of just selecting one of the films or the "Roger Corman Experience". Sounds awesome, right? It totally is. By selecting it, both films play straight on through. But more than that, we're treated to a fully programed theater double feature experience. There are 70's bumpers announcing the upcoming attractions, several exploitation trailers, even a snack bar solicitation and there's more of them between the films.

Got your popcorn? Good. The show is underway. First up, we've got The Evil, which is the story of a doctor, Richard Crenna of Rambo fame, who purchase an enormous old mansion, which he plans to open as a drug rehabilitation clinic, with the help of his friends. So they set about cleaning up this long abandoned, built on cursed Native American land, monument to horror film set location. And wouldn't you know, before long one of our intrepid protagonists accidentally unleashes the titular evil. It's a little bit ghostly mansion, a couple parts demonic spirit with a few sprinkles of the eternal struggle between good and evil thrown in for good measure. It all works out in the end, if you believe in the standard 80% attrition rate, which I do. This is a pretty interesting movie, nothing special. It's exactly what you'd expect from double feature fodder.

After some more trailers and an enticement to procure more noshables from the united snack bar of your kitchen, our second feature kicks in. Twice Dead is the tale of an east coast family who inherits a mansion in L.A. Formerly the mansion belonged to a famous Hollywood actor, who lost his love and hung himself. Unfortunately it's now the haunt of a stereotypical late 80's, early 90's gang of punks. They resent being ejected from their hang out and begin a campaign of harassment against the family kids. There's a few problems here, but mostly the issue is that Twice Dead is schizophrenic; it doesn't know if it's a ghost story or if it's a gang revenge tale. It's both, kind of. It's also very made for TVish, very Saturday afternoon matinee. It isn't as strong as The Evil but it's also a taste of nostalgia for me, recalling USA Up All Night, which needs to come back (damnit).

It's obvious that Shout! Factory put some honest effort into the presentation here and if, like me, you pine for the schlock of yesteryear, check out this double feature DVD.

Bento Box of Schlock, order no. 1

"Welcome to the Midnight Cheese cafe` madam, what will you be having this evening? Ah the bento box, a wise decision. There's a little bit of VHS cover nostalgia for the 80's child in you, some instant gratification to get you going, a nosh-able delight to consume while getting your gratification on and a bit of knowledge dropped on you. Would you prefer that with a look back at your past horror indiscretions or the past indiscretions of others? Both? Excellent, I'll have the chef whip up your very own BENTO BOX OF SCHLOCK!"

Ah dear readers, I realize that sometimes you are in a hurry and just don't have time to read through our finely crafted ministrations. Submitted your your approval, I offer you the Midnight Cheese's newest dish: The Bento Box of Schlock. A little bit of a lot of things, which you can comsume quickly. Let me get out of your way. Tuck in and enjoy.

"Here he comes: Machine Gun Joe! Loved by thousands, hated by millions! " -Junior, Deathrace 2000

Chow
Nighttime Nachos
-Plate full of tortilla chips, spread out evenly
-Top with sliced jalapenos, kalamada olives, chili powder and splashed of tobassco sauce
-Cover all of that with shredded chedder and mozzerella cheese and nuke it until the cheese it melted
-Chow down while watching a cheesy movie
-Don't bother weighing yourself in the morning

Instant Gratification
Oh, you needed a flick to watch while enjoying those Nighttime Nachos? Well how about this then, Circle of Iron staring David Carradine?

It's the kick ass kung fu story of Cord the Seeker, who's set off on a quest to recover the book of all knowledge from the Wizard Zetan (most people call it stealing, but he's our hero, so what can you do?). Did I mention it stars david Carradine as "The Blind Man". And as "Monkeyman". Oh he's also "Death". And "Changsha" too. There's these other two guys in the film too, but you've probably never heard of them: Roddy McDowell and Christopher Lee. I know, not worth mentioning.

Circle of Iron available until the end of this week on netflix's instant streaming.

VHS Nostalgia
Check out this cover:

Did you know that this is the front cover box art for a film called The Final Sacrifice which features a husky, mulleted Canadian and a wimpy, rail thin Canadian who own no firearms? It's true. The box art was used to entice folks to pick up what they thought was a rollicking actioner. What they got instead was MST3K fodder (episode 910).

Cinema Obscuro~!
Speaking of The Final Sacrifice, we've got Christian Malcolm, who played pipsqueak Troy in said film (although his credit was incorrectly switched with the other lead, Bruce Mitchell, who played Zap Rowsdower, and there wasn't enough money in the budget to fix it). So what did Mr. Malcolm get up to after shooting this cinematic masterstroke? It seems he spent 6 months in 1999 as part of National British Tour of "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)". He had roles in Intimacy, Band of Brothers and Night Flight in the early part of the century and really hit his stride recently in the award winning short film Sex with the Finklesteins and a the role of "The Head of Ops" in the film Hanna. Not too shabby, Troy, not too shabby at all.

Cheese o'the Day
On this day in the year of our lord (Roger Corman) nineteen hundred and ninty-six, The Frighteners made it's theatrical debut. On the exact same day, the Tales from the Crypt television show premiered it's final episode.

"Well, that about wraps it up here at Rock & Roll High. Remember, if your principal ever gives *you* trouble, if you want *this* (Vince Lombardi High School is burning down) to happen at your school, you just give ol' Screamin' Steve a call. I'm in the book - under SCARRRREAMIN'!" -Screamin' Steve Stevens, Rock 'n' Roll High School

The Case for Rock 'n Roll Nightmare

Jon Mikl Thor pioneered Muscle-Rock in 70's Canada. As a body builder and metal musician, it was clearly the career of choice and with a name like Thor, band names are super easy to come by. Check this out: Thor and the Imps, Thor, Tritonz, Thor and the Ass-boys. Yeah, those are all band names. I know what you're thinking: "Tritonz? What the blue blazes?". I can't really explain it either.

I've had what some would call an unhealthy obsession with Mr.Thor ever since MST3K lampooned one of his flicks, Zombie Nightmare, in season 6 of the show (Thanks a lot, Mike Nelson!). I'm not sure when I learned that JMT stared substantially in another horror film, Rock 'n Roll Nightmare, but my life would never be the same again.

Haven't seen the movie? It follows the adventures of Thor and his band, The Tritonz, as they stay at a secluded farm house in order to record tracks for their new record. The trouble is that the farm house has a tragic history, the former family having been mysteriously killed (by demons). The killings, wacky as they are, begin anew with the band members and their groupies as delightful fodder. The film's conclusion, which I absolutely will not spoil, is phenomenal in a way only 80's films can be.

Rock 'n Roll Nightmare is not a award winning film, it's not overly technically proficient or mainstream popular. Most people would say it isn't a good film. Perhaps it isn't. It is, however, a shit-load of fun to watch. In a world where the internets are serious business and everyone is down on "bad" films because it's the cool thing to do, be a trendsetter by introducing Rock 'n Roll Nightmare to your friends. I also highly recommend the soundtrack, including such Tritonz ballads like "We Live to Rock" and "We Accept the Challenge".

Check out "We Live to Rock" from the film and the spread the good word of Jon Mikl Thor!